THE JUDGES' REVIEWS 18/07/2004,LondonAstoria2, "Mean Fiddler" It''s hardly noticeable from the outside, the London Astoria 2. Nothing more than a couple of doors, a billboard and some fly posters - somewhere nearTottenham Court tube station. But for the hundreds of rock, punk, ska, and hip hop uniformed music fans amassed outside, you might be forgiven for missing it altogether. Unaware of the drama played within as seventeen of the best unsigned acts from around theUnited Kingdombattle it out - just one competition away from Germany, 50,000 fans, and the opportunity to fulfill the dream of a lifetime. Inside you can cut the tension with a knife. A basement venue, all dark, grunge architecture that looks and feels like a futuristic gladiatorial arena - with the judges perched above the stage on a balcony, as if awaiting the moment to call to the crowd. But today, only one band will receive Caesar''s ''thumbs up'' and that ticket to the Tabataul Open Air Live Music Festival. For the losers, the chance to play London''s Astoria, in front of a crowd of at least a couple of thousand and a fair number of major record label execs, with great sound, great lights and strong support from the other competitors - somewhat better than the fate reserved for true Gladiators. Still, to have made it this far, whittled down from over 800 bands and 21 cities, it''s difficult to see anyone really being a loser on the night. First to face the crowd is local three-piece Mad Dog who have apparently only been together for four months, but have still managed to attract enough of a following at4:30 in the afternoon to create a vibe from the kick off. Decent musicians, if somewhat inexperienced, they are destined to be fighting high expectations when they list bands like Led Zeppelin, Audioslave, Soundgarden and Pearl Jam as there influences. You can certainly see where they''re coming from with their solid guitar riffs and Seattle influenced grunge rock. But if you''re going to pull it off you need a frontman like Eddie Vedder or Chris Cornell, with that ability to switch from a deep emotive voice to powerful scratchy vocals. What doesn''t work is a prepubescent teen with wispy high end vocals and curly 80''s cock rock hair. Still, more than enough talent evident in some of the guitar solos and catchy melodies. Sugar Skull play the music to match Mad Dog''s haircuts - all the stranger considering their complete lack of presence on stage. With the entire band practically glued to the spot, we may as well be watching mannequins. The 80''s rock was a little dated, the lyrics were almost as trite and pretentious as their press release - "noise sensed as sanctuary, friction felt as release" - whatever. To his credit, the lead guitarist makes a valiant stab at some true 80''s Steve Vai rock poses, but it all comes off looking like a university music student who has studied the moves but has no idea how to feel them. Claiming to be melodic rock, but sounding a lot like Funeral for a Friend, Brand New and INME, Zucchini are the first band to get the blood pumping and heat the venue up. Great energy and lots of spark and enthusiasm, they almost manage to make up for their compete lack of originality and vocal talent. The bass player gets my vote for best showmanship, running around the stage like he owns it, and stage diving into the first moshpit of the night. Glorious fun. Unfortunately, the rest of the band seem intimidated by their leading light and look wooden in comparison. The vocals are cringe-worthy. The Super Nashwan Kids have a diminutive bass player, who can''t have made it out of primary school yet. He''s "about the size of a bottle of milk," the bass is almost bigger than he is, and it''s one hell of a gimmick worth a couple of novelty points alone - if only because he''s actually one of the better musicians in the band. Unfortunately, that''s about all there is to this band. The weak guitars are only beaten by the appalling vo