If, grasshopper, you prefer roller coasters to carousels then bring your skinny-rocker ass to Philadelphia! I do. And as a result, by the end of this infamous semi-final weekend, your Philly manager, could barely pull the gold strip to liberate his 20 Marlboro cigarettes. The music each night was so diverse: Musicians so pro. And the North By North West (voted Best 2003 Philly venue) so dope, that my sensory skills were left limp, like milk toast. Thursday: From the young hipsters, Settle- who should be playing their polished, alternative pop in arenas as opposed to high schools… to the hard rocking, riff-roaring band, Z, who did anything but put us to sleep. And hey, Yellow Romans, ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. They had a strong fan base and took the day. But their set was too new and unrehearsed, so instead of rocking out their reggae/rock infused tunes (like last time), the audience felt as if were inside their rehearsal room. Me, I’ll listen to the same CD countless times, accordingly, for contest formats like Emergenza, I suggest sticking to what works, after all, most fans want to sing along so we feel like we belong, no? Friday: Graze, Patricks Head (Irish Folk Rock), and The China Syndrome came prepped to play. But The Van Randals, Van RANDALS, VAN RANDALLS took the party ball home with them… Saturday: Lost all my notes: I was dosed. Got through the night, but was promptly arrested on I-76 clocked at 124mph (VWs roll). Now, while I have my suspicions of who the guilty party was, my lawyer, Shamus T. Jackson, advises me NOT to point any fingers in this article- less I be sued for libel. I am, however, certain that the technically tight band Census (see the pic) won. And I have visions, or rather premonitions, that we may see ‘Throws Like A Girl’ as a second runner up at the TLA finals. Sunday: I was very, very, very, very about 20 verys drained… of cash (from making bail) and sleep. Figuring that ‘All I needed was Love,’ or something that simulated its motions, when I arrived at the venue, I found the most desirable woman (which was the 1st female simply smoking a cig) and asked her - throughout the evening- not for just a smoke, but a shotgun, that’s mouth-to-mouth delivery, babee. And Ka-Pow! Whether it was the smoke filling my lungs or a palm enflaming my face- it worked. I was back, able to pinpoint and report… the truth, or at least put you in the precinct with a half decent pencil sketch and leave it up for you. WARNING: Sniffing crushed Cheerios is hazardous to your health. Strange open: Wishing to cling to the glorified stage, Janet Bressler (Eartha Kitt mts. Streisand) played ‘dead,’ refusing to leave after her set, laying on the stage for a full 5 minutes! When she awoke her skirt was still on, but her 10-ounce glass of Jack Daniels (gulp!) had mysteriously disappeared. While Enuom took the chalice with their sound arrangements, and 20 Amps came strong, I was truly impressed with The Po Po’s. You want raw passion and true inspiration, these 4 guys (3 of them Pakistani brothers) quit their day jobs 1 year ago to create guerilla reggae. They ooze more flavor than a bottle of maple syrup, as a result, Vivian Mulder, a singer songwriter, having her CD release party on May 7th, handed me an invite, saying ‘make sure The Po Po’s are there.’ Zip Locked and 12-hour time released.