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19 December 2004

Gasoline Dion
Bandmembers
Mike Hyjurick
Tommy Horner
Dave W
Eric Carroll
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    Gasoline Dion brings the rock like no other. An aural assult that comes at you from all sides. It's nearly impossible to tell just how they will rock you next. The members all met in an all night deli somewhere in the Louisiana swamps where a chance mention of songs about poop brought them to the notice of each other. Endless trips to see monster truck rallies have destroyed the hearing of the band to the point of no return. An early member, keyboardist Dwayne Stephenson, spontaneously combusted on stage at the second ever GD show for Timmy Goldstein's bah mitzvah. Little else is known about Dwayne except that he got all the chicks. The surviving members, have trudged on, knowing that they must bring the rock for the good of the Earth. No really, Gasoline Dion will save the planet through rock n' roll. Nostradamus predicted that when we are finally visited by extra-terrestrials, the introduction will get of to a horrible start. The aliens will declare a war upon our planet, then the music of Gasoline Dion will be employed to calm the proverbial waters. We will all sing about feces, porn, and beer, and celebrate life is all of it's glory. It's your duty to listen to Gasoline Dion. The surviving members have endured heart aches, car crashes, stage injuries, and countless bouts with penis envy. Mike and Tommy have also cleared up their animosity toward each other. No one is quite sure what really happened but it apparently was over bacon. When asked about the band's new direction, Tommy tell us that we can expect more songs about his battle with a fatal addiction. In the new song "Pieces of Meat" he talks openly about his stint at fat camp.
    Mike Hyjurick    19 December 2004 10:12